The power of music.

It's a weird feeling but some songs always prick me so bad. I was listening to the acoustic version of  "Sajni" today morning and it did remind me of someone who was very close to me. The song almost made me cry inside. I can never describe the helpless feeling that I get whenever I listen to it. I don't know why but I almost felt like the song was trying to give me a sign or message that something's not right. Maybe or maybe not I should call that person up and try to apologize but then I'm scared. Life's too short for such egoistic mindsets anyway. We all do mistakes and screw ups but does that mean we should let our fear stop us from what we really want to do?

In my previous post, I wrote about how I don't care and stuff. It's true! It's all true! And it also doesn't matter if you judge me based on what I ramble here. Truth is I miss that person real bad. I'm just trying to figure out why :(. I tried too hard to forget and even move on but that's something I can't just let go of. I really need help.

Yeah, I do have new friends and a fresh new life but again that's not enough. My life still feels incomplete. I don't wanna wait for it to be complete or anything. I just really feel that that close friend could be and really deserved to be a part of my life.

Why do all good things come to an end?

Why do we wreck things that are so perfect?

Whatever is it that I did, I was wrong. I am wrong. I will always be wrong until and unless I step up and apologize and bring back that person in my life. But... it's too late.

I want to say sorry to that someone. I am really sorry. I know sorry is not enough for anything that I did to hurt you. Just know that you're the best person ever. I lost many people in my life. I regret losing you the most. God bless you.

Moving on? No, I have moved on. :)

I know I shouldn't even bother writing. The thing is that I frankly don't care about anything anymore. It's funny that the feeling of "caring" has landed me into a lot of trouble. When I mean trouble, I actually mean trouble and not like "I broke your pencil" trouble. Everything changed for me in the past few months. I did things which I didn't wanna do and I made friends with strangers I didn't wanna be friends with. I know it's weird when I associate the term ''friends'' with strangers but it's true. Life was kind of simple back then..alright lying - a tad complicated. But then I liked those complications. I liked dealing with them and even tried my dash to understand the crap out of them and resolve them. Only my stupid mind knows how what happened and I'm responsible for most of it. Well, the best part is I'm happy that the crap is over and I've learnt a lot of lessons trying to get my head out of that hell-hole or whatever it was which changed my life forever.

Pune - a place that I'll never forget in my entire life because it did gradually alter my life into something that I really love to live right now. I'm glad to live it. No, I'm not bragging about it or anything. I'm serious! I believe whatever happens does happen for the betterment of the society. Err, alright I'll cut down to the chase. What I meant was that I finally know how to deal with things in the right way.

What amazes me is that I've been sticking to things/people/theories for the past so many years and I didn't even realize that it was holding me back all this while. Yeah, I do have regrets that I lost many precious people but then again I tried to work things out and it failed miserably -- I stopped trying. Why should I be the only one trying to sulk into depression thinking or feeling really bad about whatever happened? I might have kicked away some amazing moments in my life trying to brood over some unnecessary past. From now on, all my time will be dedicated to my family, my best buds and then my loved ones -- yeah, there are 3 categories. :|

And the people who do care enough to be back, I'll welcome them with open arms. The people who deserve a second chance will get one. Also, the people who are willing to forgive or are willing to accept an apology by understanding my past situations will be welcomed back into my life. Otherwise -- I hate to say this but ''buzz off'' :)

P.S - Love is unconditional but relationships aren't. If so then why do we expect someone to love us back when we truly love them. Then do we really love them or it's just.. ? Think about it. :)