Alright so let's start with my life first. It's doing great infact. I'll tell you why -- because I've learnt to forget and let go of the past. I know it took me a LONG time to arrive at this but I had to take some time off to realize it. The last few days were kinda traumatic. Like the usual cancerian crab, I was clinging on to some people. They gave me the hint that they have moved on. Since they are happy, I wanted to be happy for them. But I couldn't be happy.. Somethings still kept pinching me. I kept thinking that how can they be happy without me in their lives. Kinda self involved, ain't I? But then I thought why shouldn't they be happy without me? I've done a lot of wrongs and apparently created a whirlpool in their lives =) so they are better off with their new lives.
And then I had a weird time with my family too. This is the part when it hit me that why do we always try to see what we lost and never focus on what we have. I've been doing this way too long. I'm stupid enough to invest shit loads of time on people who will never be with me, on something that I'll never achieve and take the things/people that I already have for granted. That is when I realized that what I was doing was wrong. Big deal if some people whom I really cared about do not want to be associated to me anymore. I needed to be with the people who really matter the most to me -- my parents. I barely spend time with them. I'll keep getting and losing friends but parents are for a lifetime. So I've decided to not have any suicidal thoughts. Not have any regrets of the past because whatever happens does happen for a reason. I don't know if it happens for the best but I know I'm content :)
Also, I guess god helped me to recall certain incidents from the past which helped me to forget the past because they were so damn cruel. Sure, there were good memories too but I wouldn't wanna trade what I have with me for those evil times.
Yes, letting go is the solution to everything. I've learnt it the hard way. Live and let everyone be happy. If they need you, help them out. If not, leave them alone.
But I will make a few promises to myself
Never to think about giving up -- because a LOT of people care about me and that does not include only my parents.
Smile everyday and live the life that I'm offered because I believe I've a reason ahead
Make new friends and never let them go.
Stop taking people for granted -- specially the ones who care for me and have invested a lot of their time and energy in me.
And to the ones who are gone -- Be happy. It was fun with you but I don't regret losing you anymore. :) So a final Goodbye to you all!
Special thanks to my friend cheeku who made me realize what it is to be strong. I owe you a lot :)