Family Anecdotes

Scene: Morning call for breakfast at home
Mom: There's bread and peanut butter
Me: Noooo
Mom: There's puffed rice and some snacks
Me: Noooo
Mom: There's corn flakes
Me: Chocolate flavoured?
Mom: Umm, no normal ones
Me: Then, noooo
Mom: Alright, that's all we have at home
Me: Nooo
Dad: *as he passes by my room* You know people who miss breakfast grow fat
*I rush to the kitchen as soon as I hear that*
Mom to Dad: How do you manage to do that?
Dad: You gotta pick your battles.

Scene: Me and my dad are watching some bollywood song dance
Me: Oh, good. Another song in the middle of the movie. Exactly why I prefer english movies
Dad: I always thought the junior artists are cuter than the main artist.

Scene: Deciding what's gonna be for dinner.
Me: I want a gravy dish.
Dad: I want a curry dish.
Mom: So, what should I make?
Me: GRAVY!
Dad: CURRY!!
Mom: Aaand curry it is.
Me: Why do I always forget in an argument that you'd take your husband's side!

Scene: Venting on life.
Me: I want some freedom! I am not 16 anymore. Why can't I just go out and get some fresh air?!
Dad: There's a park right by our building.
Me: That's great :D *I hurry to go get dressed*
Mom: Honey, on the way back, could you please get some peas and onions, a jar of mustard and..
Me: *I glare at mom* AND?
Mom: Umm, and a can of mushrooms? *grins at me*

Scene: Having dinner at home.
Me: *halfway through dinner* Argh! Why can't we order KFC or McD or some nice chinese?
Dad: *while eating* Because by the time they reach, the food becomes cold.
Me: Then why don't we go and eat outside?
Dad: In this weather and traffic? Are you kidding?
Me: When you didn't have a car, that used to be your excuse. Now, you have a car and the weather is your excuse?
Dad: I never said I'm buying a car for a hunger ride. *keeps munching*
Me: Then why'd you buy a car if we can't go outside at all?
Dad: Honey, it's for official err office purpose.
Me: :|

Scene: Dad talking on the phone.
Dad: Alright, peter. Will see you in the office and talk about it tomorrow.
Dad: *about to hang up* Hmm. Mmmm. Alright. Alright
Dad: *listens to some more* Okay. Okay. Bye!
Dad: *responds to another query* Well, we'll talk tomorrow on this.
Dad: *finally hanging up* Ooookay. BYE!
Mom to Dad: Perhaps you should wait till the other person finishes before you hang up.
Dad: That's the only way to let the other person finish ASAP!

Scene: A normal discussion
Me: Hey, you guys, why am I the only child?
Dad: It's hot! I better go take a shower. *rushes to the bathroom*
Mom: I've got something on the oven. Lemme check.
Me: *to myself* Ask a question just to shoo them away. :|

We all have a crazy family. It's the craziness that makes it fun, innit?

A letter to me from my childhood.

Dear Anamika,

First of all, I'd like to say ''Hahahahahahahahahaha!". Confused? Well, you know you're a big dinkus, right? You should know that. Great job growing up by the way. And why on earth do you make people call you ''Ana''. I remember when you were little people used to call you Anamika or Mona. I mean what's wrong with that now? Both are really good names. Stop being such a wannabe and trying to fit in better.

And what's with all the emotional crap? Remember that things are simple. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Why do you have to go out of your way to impress or depress someone just because you think it's the ''right'' thing to do. BTW, we also need to talk about right and wrong. Let me tell you that life is the same as it was back when you were little. It's you who has changed. It's you who made all the choices. If you made a booboo, then suffer! Why cry about it?

I looked much prettier than you too. I don't know what you eat or sulk yourself into. Look at your hair! Mine was so much better. People even adored me. Nobody tried to give me all the lifelong advise. I was a good girl and most importantly a naive girl. Why are you such a cunning little masquerading pest?

On the parents thing - since when did mom and dad become hell for you? No, answer me. When you were little, they protected you from all those evil neighbours and that big dood with a bat who was coming to hit you or the rich girl who made you cry with all her pride. They love you and they don't keep 10000 conditions before you. It's not like they asked you to clean the dishes or make the bed everyday. You were the sweet little princess and you owe them for that by not cribbing 24/7.

Freedom, my ass! What freedom are you talking about? Going out and meeting your friends and having a lovely time with them? Well, I did it too and they never stopped me. What's stopping you? Only that I never returned after 11 or 12. I came home back at 8. Alright, I grant you 2 more hours. Come back home by 10! I bet they'll not stop you from meeting your friends.Well, I never made friends with strangers. If you do and don't tell your parents about it, I guess that answers why your freedom was snatched away from you.

For god's sake, exercise, woman! I used to ride the cycle everyday! I used to go running. Heck, I even fell into the gutter while playing hide and seek with my friends. Remember how my hands used to pain after playing badminton for long hours with my best bud? What happened to you? Sitting at home, staring in front of the screen, hooked on to your stupid Facebook! I managed to survive without social networks. I made friends in real life. Why can't you?

I'm a lot jealous of you. I didn't have many things which you have today and still I was happier than you are today.

I could never make my legs reach the ground and the waiters had to get me extra cushions for me to reach the table at the restaurant. Do you remember how embarassing that was for me? You don't have to deal with that now.

My cousins used to make a fool out of me asking to me to pray from Santa till I realized he doesn't exist. You don't have to wait up all night waiting for the fat round man to bring you apparent gifts.

My parents banned me from taking to a movie because it was an adult film. I stayed home with granny having coconut cookies and staring at the sky, cursing my parents to the core! You don't have that obligation. You don't get to curse your parents for not taking you an adult movie because you CAN go for it. Oh, wait. They never took you? Why would they? You're a sad wuss.

I could never wear jeans or write with pens or wear nail paints to school! You can do those things.

I couldn't watch the late night cartoon shows because it was past my bedtime! You can watch more than late night cartoon shows if you know what I mean!

Hence, for once stop trying to think that you're a loser because you achieved all those things which I could never achieve! These teeny tiny achievements -- they count missy!

And what's with all the heartbreaking story? If you love someone, stick with that person. You don't have to be in love with 10-12 guys and then choose. What do you think this is? The princebowl for the princess? Just love and be loved. Be free like me! Be cute like me!

Most importantly, don't kill me. Trust me, you need me. Not only for my great ideas, but for giving you a constant reminder that you've won many battles!

Now, go blog this out to the world. See? I couldn't even blog back then! DARN YOU! Lucky rat!

Love,

Your sweet little yourself

*evil grin*

Don't sell your thoughts!

Go ahead. Judge me all you want! I never liked the idea of having blog contests worth insert-some-price-here bucks. If you want money, then let's do something meaningful with it or for it. Like cleaning the roads of our neighborhood or buying some medicines for the stray dogs who've been wounded for years or feed the hungry and the poor.

But writing some cooked up story or some words that will blow others minds which you'll never ever do them in real life just for a great prize is just plain rubbish. Some say that actions speak louder than words. It's the same thing with our writing. Sure, it's easy for me to sit here in my comfy room and write a couple of words that might influence a lot of people. What will really influence the world is when I step up and actually apply my words in real life.

If the sponsors have loads of money to give out, then they should give it to people who are needy and cannot afford food or cannot afford to live, not the ones who can manage to write some influential words and wait for grabbing the money when they want.

I see contests all around. In fact, I even subscribed to a couple of blog contests a few days back. This is what happened! I saw this contest where there was a prize money put for a 1000 dollars and a couple of other freebies. For a moment, I lost my mind and got so greedy over those incentives that I decided to write for it and win it. And as soon as I made up my mind to write, I started thinking of the topic. No matter how much I thought, there was this need and urge in my mind that it has to make an impact on people, on others, on the ones who'll judge my writing, on the ones who'll actually decide if I deserved the money. I started thinking about my real life stories. They were too precious but not 1000 dollars precious. That's right, they were priceless. They may not have made an impact on others but they made an impact on me. Truth is your life only makes an impact on yourself. A few others too maybe - the ones who care about you the most. So after thinking all this, I started thinking of making up stories. I thought about fiction. I thought about fairy tales. I thought about tragic endings or beginnings. I thought about animals, the nature, the birds, the people. I thought about relationships. But I failed to cook up something interesting for winning that ''money''. I got so mad at myself that I dropped the idea of writing for the money. It had this evil influence on my mind. It was making my feelings too commercialized. It was manipulating my heart and I could not let that happen to my thoughts!

I say that never sell your thought, your blog or your heart for the money. Your thoughts are too pure and precious for just some contest grab-on. The day you sell your thoughts for the money, it will be sold forever. The things written from your heart is SO not worth the price they are putting on them.

It's sad to see that 90% of the posts written for the contests are so fake and commercial that they have no impact except scream out loud for the money. Sure, writing for a living is a different thing. But then again, the people who write for a living have their posts manipulated, reviewed, refined like 50-60 times before they actually get it published. That's not the real outburst of thoughts. Our real thoughts are raw, fresh and drafted in our hearts for a long long time. Do you really want to sell them?

If we had put our passion, our heart in our jobs, it wouldn't be frustrating. Heck, it wouldn't even feel like we deserve the stipend they pay us. Think about it. When was the last time, you did a job you really loved? And if you did really love it, did you care about the money so much? I bet no. If yes then maybe that's the way it is. What I feel is already spoken.

The saying - "If you're good at something, never do it for free" has its own limits too. Remember that.

Music - Summary of Life?

I remember when I was in school, I used to go for english tuitions. Apparently, Wren & Martin wasn't helping me. The tuitions used to be conducted by this college professor. He asked me a question one day about ''speed''.

Professor: What do you think travels the fastest?

A friend: Sound!

Me: Umm, light?

Professor: You both are wrong.

Both of us: *puzzled*

Professor: It's the BRAIN!

Now, that I think about it, he was right. The fastest I can reach home is by picturing myself in it first. I think the fastest we can think sometimes does beat light and sound at the same time.

But what has this got to do with music? Well, I'm sure this has happened to many of us a lot of times that you're listening to a particular song and the memories keep jingling in your head. It does, doesn't it? Today, I realized that music had the power to actually play an entire summary of my life in my head. It was about everything - the traps, the pitfalls, all my relationships with every person I ever met, painful & happy memories, my childhood, my teenage! Soon after the music got over, I felt like I literally lived all my life till now through just one song! It was an amazing feeling.

Has it ever happened to you? That you were listening to a song and it ended up taking you back in time?

Kinda like the feeling in this song

For those who fail to understand hindi, the song says - I wish I didn't have to return to my conscious state(reality) at all.

Small talk or No talk?

One of the many many things I'm allergic to is Small Talk! No, it's not any product I'm talking about. The usual small talk amongst people, you know. It's fine until it reaches the point when you cannot draw the line between just being nice and getting out of it. I cannot speak for all of you but I can surely tell how uncomfortable I get when it gets out of control.

As always, I'll give you a reference from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. There was this scene where a guy named Gunther was pouring coffee to another guy named Chandler.

Gunther: *pouring coffee*

So there's an obvious silence till the coffee is being poured.

Chandler: *breaks the silence* So what do you do when you're not working?

Gunther: You don't have to fill these silences.

Chandler: Alright. *storms off with the coffee*

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="600" caption="Courtesy: xkcd.com"][/caption]

If you think about it, this is a funny scene but this has happened a lot of the times in real life to me when there's an awkward silence and I really don't know what to say. The fear of a small talk popping up is what scares me the most.Ofcourse, I've mastered the art of stopping the talk before it even starts.

Bus driver: *while driving the bus and sees me sitting in the front seat* So what's your name?

Me: Why at all should I tell you?

Lady in the grocery: *sees I'm a regular buyer so starts* You live around this neighbourhood?

Me: No, I come all the way from New Jersey just to shop here.

Friend on FB: *pings me after a LONG time and never talked to me in college* Hey! How are you? I really miss you.

Me: Heh? Really? Did we ever talk?

Friend on FB: We should meet up sometime.

Me: Never talked but meet, ya right!

Friend on FB: Hey, I'm just making small talk.

Me: Yeah, well...don't!

Well, no I'm not always rude. I've tried making small talks. Trust me. It's just that I'm not very good at it. Once, I tried talking to this grocery man who was unable to find a jar of pickles and kept asking me about the weather and everything including politics, best swimmer, lazy sharks, prices of fuel, gold and etc under the sun. I mean there was nothing left for two strangers to discuss and he still couldn't find the jar of pickles that I asked him to search for. So, I actually left the store looking for it in some other place.

I face this problem when I'm on the phone with my relatives. I always term that as SMALL TALK! Oh, please. I'm not even close to my 2nd, 3rd or I don't know any n-th mausi or bua whom I haven't seen in years and when my mom just happens to force that phone down on my ear, all that comes out of my mouth is - "Yes, I'm fine. Take my respect. Give me your blessing. Talk to MOM!". There's this rush to hang up or give the phone back to my mother. I just cannot make conversations for the heck of it.

Ever got tensed in an elevator? I did. Lots a times. But you know what I appreciate in an elevator? SILENCE. I really do because you have no idea how uncomfortable it gets when a stranger in an elevator happens to pop up a talk with you when all you're waiting for is for your floor to arrive.

And this is what happens to people who happen to strike up a conversation with me after years of gap and ask me for my number. Sure, they'll have my number and everything but I'll never pick up their calls. If I cannot talk smooth with my relatives whom I do visit once every year, how can I talk to people who have been out of touch for like 9-10 years? Honestly, how much can you fake or go on making promises that you'll meet or call or catch up when there's nothing to talk about!

The awkwardest -- so awkward that it made me say awkwardest -- has been when I couldn't remember someone who was talking to me for about 5 minutes.

Uncle-type-man: OMG! Anamika?! Look at you! You've grown so big!

Me: *still trying to recognise him* Erm, hehe. Yeah.

Uncle-type-man: So what do you do now? Studying or Working?

Me: *still figuring* Well..I'm still studying.

Uncle-type-man: Aww, I still remember how you used to always be in your dad's arms when you were a baby. You remember? I used to tease you that you'll be a very lazy girl someday.

Me: *thinking if I was a baby, how is he expecting me to remember it?* Erm, do I know you?

*awkward silence*

Don't ask me how I got out of this one.

What do you prefer? Small talk or No talk?

Freaky coincidence update: The day I wrote this post, that same evening this exact small-talk incident occurred to me in the elevator. Old man walked in and asked me whether I'm done with studies and I'm working now etc. I ended up asking him ''Who are you?''. It's weird but I think my blog is on to me.

An incessant poll to ruin your mood.

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