Get your presentation skills right

No, really! This one was coming anyway from my end. I figured I'm doing an MBA so I might as well learn and at-least let others know what are the ''Do's and Don't s" while making, giving your presentation. Alright, let's just do the Don't s because nobody likes to hear what one should do. It's like the time in F.R.I.E.N.D.S when Rachel yells at her Sister Jill:

Jill: Don't tell me what I should do
Rachel: I'm not telling you what to do, I'm telling you what NOT to do.

Whew, I know I can't get over that soap but let's get back to the point. A few basic pointers where people go wrong and I've seen this over and over again and today it just hit me that I wanted to take a big ball of stone and hit someone. I'll calm down but before I do, let me just get it out of my system. 

Does anyone understand the significance of bullet points? I mean not ACTUAL bullet points, you know. They're supposed to be key pointers words that'll help you remember the rest of the what you're going to speak to the audience. 

Oh, btw, there's a set of creatures called the ''Audience''. You need to look at them while presenting. No no, they would not want to see your butt, your side-pose, your hairy arms, your hair or anything else. All they would like to see is your face. Yes, remember face and if they aren't paying attention, it's probably you aren't as pretty or peaceful to look at. I'm just kidding about that bit but face the audience while you deliver your presentation. By deliver, I do not mean walk into the podium like a postman, deliver the mail and run! Deliver slowly and gradually by making all your point very valid and understandable. Let me be honest with you: I am horrible at delivering a good presentation. In fact, I am worse than a postman. At least, the postman comes and stays with you for a while, takes your signature and all. I probably would deliver my presentation in a jiffy and leave. Did I confuse you guys with the postman and the presentation too much? Fine, sorry. The bottom line is to never rush through the points but speak clearly. 

When I talk about speaking here, I mean speak and not over-emphasize every point or try to pull each word like a strand of rubber till the point it breaks. Don't be so slow in delivering your speech that you make the audience as well the mentor who is assessing go off to a snoring ride. Be crisp but not as crisp as the bullet points on your slides. If you just plain read what your slide speaks has in it, you're just trying to insult the audience by depicting that they're blind and that they wanna hear what's on the slide. Bring out your own points.

Can people please please please avoid theories on their slides? It's high time that one realizes that slides are meant to be more of a guide to help you out when you're speaking so that you don't stammer or pull on a lot of ''Oh, Umms and Aahs". Who the heck would wanna read an entire piece of theoretical paragraph on the slide? You can try that if you think your face is that uninteresting to look at, divert the audience to the slides. I mean if that's your agenda but the key to a good presentation is to make people see your face and hear what you're speaking (and not any rubbish). 

And also, make sure what you speak does match with what's on your slide behind you. Yes, it is embarassing when there's a donkey posing on the slide and you're busy talking about cats. Or worse, you bring out an elephant when there's absolutely no sign of that giant on your slide. To some level, it's acceptable that you talk about some stuff which is not present on your slide but going overboard is just plain stupid. A small reference would help.

Watch the time! - Yes people, you do not have all the time in the world to deliver what you wanted to present. For that maybe you should really pay the audience to listen to you because trust me listening skills don't come for free after a while. With mothers, it's a different story but not with people who're trying to present on a topic that has been probably been presented on many-a-times before.

Voice modulation - It really helps a lot of people. I think that's the key to a good speaker too. But who said you've to be the best? Just be audible. When I mean audible, I don't mean to yourself, I meant ''be audible to your audience''. Don't scream because you may wanna buy them hearing aids and that's not a very good deal. Don't be too subtle -- it never helps! Don't be afraid of being heard. Relax, they won't kill you. They probably are just as dumb as you are. (this was just to make you feel better)

Did I miss out anything? If I did, pardon me. I'm human too, hence, I tend to forget every though that gets recollected in this teeny tiny brain of mine. I won't lie to you all but I make most of the blunders I've written above but I'm trying my best to improve. I suggest everyone starts doing the same or else someday the reason of people getting fired from their job would be just an embarassing boring presentation excuse. Now, you wouldn't want that on your recommendation letter stating ''Good player, Bad speaker'', do you?

I blabber but I too get bored

Well, since my last post had done a lot of bashing on the toppers and the people who love to study, I figured I bash myself up a bit this time. It's not so much of a self-criticism per se but more on the lines of wanting-to-improve-but-failing-big-time! I blabber a lot. My friends listeners, parents have complained a lot on this habit of mine. I'm an excellent listener to a stranger and exactly the opposite to someone I know very well. Now, you know the trick to getting the listening side from me - Don't get too acquainted with me. Before I go on to explain how much I blabber, some of you must be out there trying to prototype me into being a ''girl''. Yeah, I know you must be going on like, "You're a girl! Of course, you'll blabber a lot." It's almost as corny as the ''99% sound and 1% sense" joke. To be honest, that one did hurt but I'm glad we girls inspire people to come up with such creative jokes at times. Anyways, don't wanna divert from the topic. 

Oh yes, I've been literally asked to shush by almost everyone? Yes, everyone. I mean I remember even a KID asked me to shut the hell up once upon a time. Yes yes, I believe I was that annoying. It's not the annoyance so much but more of the constant ''BLAH" material that I throw upon people! I don't ask questions. I don't answer them either. I just don't let others speak when I'm around. I remember I was trying to a friend was trying to have a conversation with me about Samosas. Let's call her 'L'. I don't want to take her name here because she might come down here and actually bring out my other bad habits. But today is just about my Blabbering. 

L: Hey, you know I had some amazing Samosas in Bombay. I think they use some secret ingredient in their fillings or..
Me: I know! I know. I mean they top it off with green chutney! And the best part is that they put yummy aloo ki sabzi (cooked potato fillings) inside it. In calcutta, they put peas, carrots and almost all kinds of vegetables. 
L: Wow, really? That must be..
Me: Yeah yeah, it's disgusting. I mean to think of it, I actually love food in calcutta but the samosas and the fillings.. Argh and *insert a lot of blah-ing about samosas*
*it's been over 5 minutes*
Somehow, I've been talking about food and all the other kinds of food dishes in Calcutta and there's no stopping me and I fail to notice that L has gone silent all this while. 
Me: Oops, did I speak too much?
L: Nah, it's.. I'm used to it.
Me: So, what were you saying?
L: I don't even remember.

Yeah, I hate it when that happens. 

Now, the challenge here is that I'll make an excellent talkative moron and probably the worst person at a debate. And I have made many girls ''shut up'' just because of me talking my dash out. Don't even bother asking the guys what I do to them. They're just too nice to listen to me because of the whole ''respect-her-because-she's-a-girl (or creature, if I may?). I guess my talkative nature is very reflective in my posts too. :|

The secret to shut me up is to offer me a nice dish once in a while or some candies maybe. What? You think it's easy to just blah nonsense forever? Some people find it entertaining and cheer up because of my crap.

The Topper Syndrome

Relax, I'm not a topper. I'm glad I'm not. You wanna know why? There are some crazy species out there. They know what their ultimate penultimate aim is and they work towards it. Well, these people are the reason why you see yourself far away from the top 10, top 50 or worse top 100 in the list of best students or why you get that horrible yelling from your mother and you end up having an hour argument defending yourself and explaining as to why you cannot be compared to the coolest lamest topper kid in your class. They are also the reason why your open house days in school always sucked grease. They can be also blamed for your very fluctuating or let me call the famous ''CGPA" performance. Don't be disheartened. There are millions who fear them. I'll classify them in some categories that I've visualized the most in my life. 

The Hard Workers - Oh, come on now. Did you really think I wouldn't give you guys some respect? I respect you. I respect you a lot. In fact, I respect you till the point that I fail to respect you and find it difficult to believe that how do you manage to achieve such amazing performance in all your academics. You guys are the same who get interviewed by the media sometimes whenever you achieve the state or the city or the country champion award. To be honest that interview freaks me out. There's a mention of ''no lights'', ''no food'', ''no coaching/guide/tuitions'', ''no resources/books'', ''no money'' and sometimes ''no stationery items''. I'm not mocking you guys. I'm just saying that the motivation you guys get to study and reach the top position by hook or by crook is what is ...I don't know what. What pisses me off is you guys already win the first rank and after that the whole sympathetic story that goes on -- like we're supposed to feel bad for you that you went through all that hell. Why does every ranker have some or the other sad story out there? Is it not possible to get a good rank even if you come from a well-to-do family and have absolutely no hurdles at all? I believe it is the brain at work and not the other issues that leads you to the topmost position. Oh wait, you had a troublesome maid maybe? Nice try of using such stories to win a scholarship. It doesn't work forever though.

Well, I guess then the saying of "Every winner has a tragedy behind it'' must be true. 

Exception - Some of you are geniuses. You automatically have the best-brains and understand a concept in a minute. Yeah, I envy you guys. It's like what some people would like to call? A gift from birth. Wow, I must say that's the best of deals. Or, is it? 

The Vomiting Birds - Let me talk to you guys for a second. No offense but do you NOT have brains? I mean it must be pretty challenging and remembering every single sentence word exactly the way it is written or depicted in the books/notes. I know some of you even remember the page numbers just in case by creating a photographic memory of the references in your mind. It's like creating a virtual notebook in your head. It stays only till the exam. One question regarding what you studied after the exam and you act like an Alzheimer's bird. What's that about? Of course, it helps in getting the output -- MARKS!

The All Rounder Freaks - You guys wanna be good at everything. When I mean everything, I mean everything. Topping in everything -- right from maintaining a good body to being a good sports person to being an amazing artist to being a great academician to being a great what-not. Sometimes, you forget the part of being a good friend. Well, if you do, you would have to compromise and let your friends win sometimes too and you're not going to let that happen eh?
The Hidden Miracles - Yes yes, I'll call you guys miracles because you guys just HAPPEN to get good marks after acting all normal like the other students. I can count multiple things here. 

Yes, you lie when you say you haven't started studying
Yes, you lie when you say you haven't understood anything
Yes, you lie when you say your paper went bad. -- like seriously?!
Yes, you lie when you say you don't know squat on the day of the exam

Dude, we know you're studying your dash out at nights or during the day or whenever you find any free time. Probably, in the washrooms too. Although, that's a little crazy. And to top it all, when the results come out, you act like it's some sort of a miracle that just happened. What's crazy is this miracle happens only to you guys over and over again. If asked genuinely, you guys respond by calling it a ''mistake''. I gotta tell you -- that's a well planned mistake.
The TMI birds - You always have to occupy or surround yourself with too much information. If we have one book assigned to us, you have to get hold of every reference book that leads to the subject. Be it a magazine,  a website, a journal, a blog, a video -- the maximum resources possible. You call it the knowledge gain? I call it plain crap. It's just another way to manipulate and add extra dump in your exam paper to play around with the examiner's head. The concept of ''the more the better'' - it actually works with a lot of examiners. But there's always going to be a debate about quality vs quantity. 

Yes, I know bashed you all a lot and we can do all these things too to get good marks. I don't need marks. Well, to be honest, I'm too lazy to do all these things that you guys do. :| 

P.S: I do respect those people who get good marks and never brag about it or how difficult it was for them to get in and help others to score better as well.

Blame the bed, not me.

That evil wide long thing standing on four legs with a delicate mattress resting on it and some incredibly soft pillow calls out to me, "Get back here you! You know you need me.

Let me be honest. I'd probably not spend SO much time with even my special someone as much as I spend on my bed. And there's no this bed or that bed or my bed. When I see a bed, I know it's time to sleep. In fact, I even sit on it and study because it's just easier to go to sleep when I get bored of books which happens all the time.Not to mention the time when I'm already in my bed but I don't feel like sleeping. Whether I'm asleep or not, it doesn't matter! The amount of lethargic air that my bed pumps into me is what makes me so lazy. 

Lazy is very undefined there. Let me define it for you. 

  • Too lazy to get up and switch off the fan when I'm freezing cold. 
  • Too lazy to get up and actually put the covers back on me when they're lying around my feet. I almost do kung fu on my bed just to kick back those covers on me. 
  • Too lazy to go to the washroom --> This one's pretty famous with everyone, I guess? Hence, the bad habit of not drinking water before hitting the bed even though I make everyone hear that suggestion from me everytime.
  • Too lazy to get up and search for the water bottle when thirsty
  • Too lazy to even look at the phone sometimes (when there's a message or a call alert)
  • Too lazy to look at the time. 
  • Too lazy to turn off the alarm. It's just easier to slap all over my pillow and search frantically for the goddamn phone. 
  • Too lazy to get up from bed :| (Exception: Winter mornings. I won't blame my bed. I myself don't feel like getting up then.)

I've a bad feeling I'm falling asleep because I'm sitting on my bed and typing out this post. 
So, if you think I'm lazy, it's not my fault. Blame the bed!
P.S: Even a comfortable couch is a culprit. Actually, any place with a seat. Alright alright, I love sleep! :|